Regret Everything: Love Thy Hipsters [Click for full post]
In “Regret Everything,” comedian Will Hines gives a weekly update on the thoughts that are gnawing at his brain.
We love criticizing hipsters. The main problem is that all of our criticisms sound like compliments.
Ask people to describe hipsters, and even though their faces scrunch up with disdain, everything out of their mouths sounds like a nice thing.
“Oh, hipsters? Can’t stand them. They’re all these YOUNG, THIN people who are OBSESSED WITH FASHION, and they basically HAVE TO KNOW THE LATEST BANDS, and need to be COOL. They all are BANKROLLED BY THEIR PARENTS and just spend their days MAKING ART and DOING DRUGS and HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER.”
Uh, that mostly sounds awesome? And I would like to live that way.
The main criticism of hipsters is that they are fake and posed. That their unkempt ball bearing earrings and necklaces made of piano keys are DELIBERATELY unkempt, and so therefore are fake and should be regarded with deep disapproval, furrowed brows and searing comments on Gawker.
But criticizing anyone for being posed or fake is a slippery slope. How is a self-described rock muralist who grows a deliberately wild handlebar mustache any more fake than an investment banker applying a splash of cologne to his neck? How is any fashion of any kind not FAKE or POSED?
Let me be plain: I say this because I’m obsessed with hipsters and desperately want to be one. I’m too old, my taste in music is too lame (Billy Joel shows up on my iPhone shuffle) and I don’t like tattoos. But I would love to be thin, smoking and working on my shitty art all day on Daddy’s dime. I don’t make fun of people who have that lifestyle, I salute them. [Continue Reading]